Since 1864 ...

They had already seen enough death to last a thousand lifetimes, and winter was fast approaching. Though the icy winter evenings in their Western Pennsylvania homes brought the chance to huddle together with their loved ones and cherished farm animals, on the Virginia battlefield winter meant huddling in the chilled embrace of the Grim Reaper, and without farm animals. All that stood between them and home was 10,000 Confederates and their impregnable lines.

Almost impregnable, that is. Though the Reb earthworks and artillery could repel any frontal assault, there were not safe from the ingenuity of the 432nd Pennsylvania. "We'll sink a mineshaft, general" said Buford Early. "We're miners, we're not soldiers. Remember when Jonas Silder, god rest his soul, tried to take out a sniper team with a pick-axe? I think that proves my point."

General Beaucephalous T. Fopp stroked his beard. Months with out conditioning had left it dry, and frizzy -- the General also knew the hardships of the battlefield. And he was ready to take a chance. "I'm listening."

"If we dig underneath their primary defensive structures, we can hollow out a chamber. One big enough to install a decent sized printing press. Then we get the 32nd New Hampshire, the ones with the graphic arts background, to print up and distribute some flyers for a comedy show the next town over."

"What kind of comedy?" asked the General. He was willing to try new things, but he didn't finish 152nd in his class at West Point by rushing headlong into madness. "We're talking about the Rebs. Tales of our Northern cocktail parties and pecadilloes won't get the job done. We need someone blue-collar, with amusing stories of the clap, and diptheria, and moonshine."

"I've got a guy from the 23rd Ohio," replied Early. "He plays the banjo and sings dirty limericks. Once they sneak out to catch the show, we move in and take their artillery. I call the whole operation 'DC Standup.' Say the word, and we'll have this war won within the week."

The general nodded. "Do it."

But seriously ...

Really, Dcstandup is a site dedicated to stand-up (and improv, and sketch) comedy in the Washington / Baltimore area. Founded in Jan. 2003 by Chris White (Writings / Biography), the dcstandup.com empire has since been expanded to include a clothing line, a venture capital firm for investing in the inner cities, and also lucrative off-the-books trade in exotic animals.

So if you're looking for information on some of the best new comedy talents to come out of Washington and Baltimore, and you'd like to know where they're performing, and you're above the age of 18 and want to follow them home, then you're in the right spot.

If you have information you'd like posted on the site or questions you'd like answered, especially questions about plant biology, then send us an e-mail at chris@dcstandup.com.

Enjoy your visit!

--Chris White, founder, dcstandup.com
1843-1867

READING ROOM: On occasion we get humor pieces from comedians -- you can find them all archived in our Reading Room.