Mad Libs for Grown-Ups

by Chris White, January 14, 2005

Here are the words you'll need:
Adverb
Noun
Color
Adjective
Past Tense Verb
Relative
Animal
Expletive
Body Part
Number
Liquid
Article of clothing
Body Part
Proper Noun.
Adverb
Adverb
Past Tense Verb
Androgynous Name
Noun
Emotion
Past Tense Verb
Adjective
Small Object
Adjective
Body Part
Piece of Furniture
Verb
Prescritpion Drug
A Service
Adjective
Weapon
Article of Clothing
Color
Noun
Term of Endearment
Number
Currency
Food Item
Country
Mode of Transport
Past-Tense Verb
Adverb
Color
Object
Fluid

The End of the Affair

Marlena strode into the study (adverb). Philip stared intently at the (noun). He knew why she was here, and he couldn’t stand to stare into the (color)-hot gaze of her (adjective) eyes.

“You (past tense verb) my (relative)?” she screamed. “You (animal)! Did you really think I wouldn’t find out? ANSWER ME, YOU (expletive).”

A great anger rose in Philip’s (body part). (Number) years of resentment welled up, like so much (liquid). As he stood, he straightened his (article of clothing) and stared directly into the (body part) of the woman he once called (proper noun).

He spoke (adverb), and yet (adverb). “Yes, I (past tense verb) (androgynous name). I had to, because I had to feel something again.” He stepped toward Marlena, and his voice grew louder, like the ominous rumbling of a (noun). “Because I haven’t felt any (emotion) with you in 10 years. When was the last time you and I (past tense verb)? Am supposed to spend the rest of my life (adjective) on the inside?”

Philip grabbed a (small object) off the desk, and with a sudden and (adjective) motion, struck Marlena across the (body part). She fell backwards, into the (piece of furniture). Wild eyed and sobbing, she screamed back at Philip.

“I could never (verb) with you! You’re not a real man. Real men don’t need (prescription drug). Real men don’t pay for (a service). Real men don’t get killed by me.” And with those words, the (adjective) Marlena produced a (weapon) from inside her (article of clothing).”

Philip turned (color) as a (noun). “Don’t do this, (term of endearment). Besides, I don’t think you have the guts.”

Marlena laughed. “Oh, I have the guts. And in just a minute, we’ll know for sure whether you have ANY guts.” She pointed her weapon toward his stomach.

Philip was wracked with (emotion). “Don’t do it, Marlena. All the money is mine. My family made (number) (currency) selling (food item). Are you ready to give up the vacations to (country)? The (mode of transport)?”

She laughed again. “What about you, Philip? Are you ready to give up (past tense verb) my relatives? And more (adverb), are you ready to give up breathing?” And with that she attacked.

The next day, all the police found was a (color) stain on the (object), and a (fluid)-stained wedding photo on the mantle.

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Mad Libs for Grown-Ups

The End of the Affair

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