Corporate scandal has sent many Corporate Executives to jail, demonizing them as traitors to the American way, betraying the trust placed on them by Investors. People forget that Corporate Executives are people too. To prove that point, here are a series of letters sent from prison by one such Corporate Executive, a flesh and blood person, much like you and I.
Dear Betty Sue,
Sorry I haven't written sooner, but I have been sort of out of touch lately, as I have been in jail for the past five years. Seems like the guys at the office didn't like my banking "games." In the end, $500 million doesn't seem that much -- does it? Please write me soon, as my cellmate, Bruno, has been transferred to solitary confinement for a few months, due to an "incident" we had in the lunch room with a fellow inmate's eating utensils. Hope to hear from you soon, Your love, Larry.
Dear Larry,
Great to hear from you again. Seems like my three year stint in the nunnery wasn't so bad after all, because I was able to save myself for you... at least for those three years. Besides the nunnery and the four husbands I have had since then, not much else has happened since last we met -- in that corner cafe in downtown Manhattan, some five (has it been that long?) years ago. (If I remember right, you kept me waiting fifty minutes...) I might have even forgotten you had you not walked away with those two well-dressed men in dark glasses, rather hurriedly leaving me with the check (and you know I tip big). All else forgotten, hope to hear from you again. (P.S. Say "hi" to your friend Bruno for me.)
Dear Betty Sue,
The joy I felt when I received your letter that the censors had graciously left in tact for me to read in my empty cell! Your sweet and pleasant smile are with me always as I sit on my cot, pondering the loss of my fortune and devising a way to get my revenge once I get out of here some two decades from now. I often wonder how life is on the outside, and how my back-stabbing friends remember me as I sit alone in my cage, as it were, playing with my pet cockroach, Norman. It is with great anticipation that I wait for the moment that I can see you again and pay you back the amount I owe you for that check I left you so many years ago.
Dear Larry,
Forget about the money ($19.76 to be exact -- without the interest added), but I've found a new lover who wants to take me around the world and help pay for my medication. His name is Bruno, and I think we'll be very happy together, despite his various tattoos.
Dear Betty Sue,
I'm happy for you, I guess. I too have found a very special friend in a lawyer named Mr. Tony Tortellini, who promises to have me out of here on good behavior by the end of the year... that is, if I can come up with the proper "compensation." Possibly we can meet somewhere once I get out; that is, if your worldwide itinerary ever takes you around to my parents' house in Chicago. Who knows, we may still have something for each other... By the way, do you have about $50,000.00 I can borrow? I promise to pay you back once I get out. Your love always, Larry.